he offered a break up just now to show how much he's pissed off n how he can't hold it any longer..

i was divided...i wanted to say yes, but i'm always afraid of losing n plus, worst attitude of mine..

ITS HARD FOR ME TO DISCONTENT OTHERS...

ever since i was small, as the youngest child, all answers and responses i'd ever given were to please and for others' consent....

that's the reason why i'm fat and my boyfriend list doesnt seem to stop, plus my uncontrollable nafsu which is getting the better of me,making me LAZY..n i mean. XTRA LAZY....

btw, just now we had a fight cuz i failed to text him like every 15 mins daily, like how i always fail to do so days before...

so he went berserk and threatened to dump me cuz he's lost his patience...he is really n extremely worried that i'm going out with other boys...he waited for 4 hours n yet i only called him twice n text him like 5 times only..i understand his situation...

but i couldnt do anything about it..im just so used to doing my stuff and not stopping once i started..(but it's as hard for me to start it) n that's why i hate stopping doing things that'd take long to finished...

aagrh...i really don''t know what's my situation n status in my love life now, who i really love, m i destined for a bad marriage and relationship??? it seems like it...

aaargh!!

i wanna get slimmed down and attract many boys..

i wanna get pretty!!!

n in order to do so, i must be DISCIPLINED!!

which is sth i'd tried to do almost 8 years now,without success....

*sigh*